Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wanna know what Braxton Hicks feel like? They are "practice" contractions, which means they aren't actually painful (or so the books say) but help prepare the muscles and everything involved for the birth.
Imagine, you're going about your day, minding your own business, and are suddenly forced to do an ab workout. 50 crunches, right now! You can't really predict when they'll come, or how long they'll last, or if you'll get a break in between them, but they always know how to find you. And no, you don't actually feel out of breath or anything like that, but how do you feel after doing 50 crunches? It's like that.
Now imagine having a 3 year old and an 18 month old jumping all over you while you're doing the crunches. Good times.
Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I have a box of Oreos to finish...
Friday, September 24, 2010
My thoughts on the 1000 most popular boy names in America in 2009 (I got this list from www.behindthename.com, in case anybody's wondering). And I mean no offense to anyone who has these names and/or it's an ethnic thing. Please don't sue me.
One of the names tied for last place is Mustafa. Yes, you heard me. (say it again. Mustafa!!) Sharing last place with the Lion King is Eliezer, Cassius, and Amos. (Okay, I just realized that the Lion King is Mufasa, not Mustafa, but they sound close enough in my head that the effect is the same.)
Tied with Nick and Hugh is Cain. How's that for a namesake? Just don't have any other boys.
ooh, #982: Leonidas. Hopefully he won't have to lead an army into a suicide battle that saves his country...well okay there are plus sides to that, it being an epic battle for the ages and all, but still, the word "suicide" is in the description for a reason. Also, did the parents have the name picked out before the movie came out? That would make them cool ancient history buffs. After the movie came out, they're really big Gerard Butler fans.
Oh my word, Nicholas Cage is catching on: #968 is Kalel, what he named his son. Also, in case you aren't placing it, that's SUPERMAN'S NAME. Please note that more boys were named Superman's name on Krypton in 2009 than were named Nick.
If you had to choose, would you name your son Kal-el (the proper spelling) or Mustafa? These are the questions that trouble our times.
In the lower reaches of the top 1000, there are some names that just amuse me. Like Savion. Or Juelz. Or Zavion, because, you know, Savion is so common these days.
#959: Dereon. And somehow I immediately knew that Dereon is the name of Beyonce's fashion line. I have no defense for myself.
#944: German. They must be VERY proud of their ethnic heritage.
#940: Royce, and his older brother Rolls (ba-dum-puh!)
Elmer! And Fletcher! And Ralph! Oh my!!
I want to meet the people who name their tiny infant son "Rigoberto" because I think it would be fun.
First sighting of parents' overenthusiastic hopes for their children! (if you don't count Leonidas) - Marquise, at #907!
If the Rigoberto people aren't available, I'd also like to meet the Humberto people, and apparently there are more of them than Rigoberto people.
I strongly feel that if you name your son Dangelo you need to spell it D'Angelo. And then pressure him to open a restaurant.
Tied with Salvatore for #890: Todd :)
Tied for #878, that's right, higher than Todd: Hezekiah, Lyric, and Krish.
Arnav is just fun to say. Who knows if I'm saying it correctly, it's just fun. Lower down was Pranav. Wouldn't that be a cute set of twins?
#866: Bridger. "So, what line of work are you in?..."
More boys were named Elvis last year than were named Darryl.
#841: Fisher. See #866, above.
I always really hope that people who use names like Izayah are actually Jewish or something, and they're going traditional.
Harold and Alfred are higher than Mike!
#823: Winston. I think that is awesome.
How do you say Ayaan?
Next group of parents with no humility! #784: Adonis!
#772: Aryan. They wanted to go with Adolph, but thought that would be too obvious...Tied for #767: Zain and Zayne. At least they’re coming out even in the polls.
Tied for #752: Rodolfo and Rex.
#737: Darwin. They're just whippin' this stuff out there. Although I guess they could argue the same thing about Christians naming their kids Zion and Judah and that kind of thing.
#729: Frankie. Aww, that's cute. But not as a proper name, right?
#718: Gauge. There's a joke there, it's just not coming to me.#715: Junior. When all else fails…
#699: Sincere. Really.
#688: Rogelio. Say that a few times, let it roll off your tongue...Rogelio, rrrrogelio...More overproud parents! #691: Prince!
I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief knowing that Osvaldo dropped almost a hundred places between last year and this year.
#673: the inexplicable Semaj. I had to look at that for awhile before I realized it's James backwards. Because...you really like the name, but can't possibly cope with giving your son a normal name?
#670: Tripp. Am I the only one who thinks more of, say, a beloved family pet rather than a child?
#662: Messiah is leading the overcompensating parents so far!
I was not aware there were so many possible spellings for Aiden/Jayden et al.
Unusual Biblical (or at least Biblical-sounding) name you don’t hear every day: #618: Urijah.
In the United States last year, more boys were named Memphis than were named Steve. In fact, more boys were named Ace than were named Steve.
#586: Xzavier. These are parents doing their part to make darn sure he always gets called last.
#570: Alvin. Now I have to look for Simon and Theodore.
#485: Cullen. I'm taking this as the most obvious Twilight reference.
#462: King. You know, with names like King and Prince, you really want to put thought into the middle name.
Squeezing in the most possible syllables: #460: Maximiliano!
Tied for #408: Hugo, Orlando, and Romeo.
#388: Moises. How do you pronounce this? Moyses? Mwahses?
#370: Colt. And his brother Winchester.
#276: Theodore! We just need Simon!
Just when I thought we were getting out of the weird names, #264: Axel. What exactly are you naming your child after?
Ah, #263: Simon.
#235: Zane. What, he’s too good for Zain and Zayne?
#200: Edgar. Really? That high? I would not have predicted that.
Now I’m in the top 100 so they’ll be pretty normal. Or so we hope…
Now, I would do the girls' list too, but honestly, out of the top 1000 names, if you took out all the alternate spellings, it would bring it down to, oh, 250 names. Parents are more creative with the names overall for boys, but just mess around with spelling for girls. Although I did spy Dixie in there and that's fun. And there is the Unique/Precious/Princess crowd...